A Broad Abroad: Expat Writer & Expert Robin Pascoe Shares Her Wisdom on Life & Work Overseas

Over 15 years ago I started my journey of helping professionals and entrepreneurs in the areas of professional and business development. I've worked with people from over twenty countries on six continents in every industry imaginable - from cheese making, ship building and rotomolding of plastics to education, medicine and information technology. 

What I have found over the course of my journey is that those who have experienced and overcome great challenges in growing their career or business not only acquire wisdom invaluable to themselves and others, but they also have great stories to tell. Those with the capacity to share their wisdom through telling engaging stories are the kind of people you want in your life - or at least on your advisory board!

Robin Pascoe is one of those people. She tells stories of her own and others' adventures overseas that not only educate but inspire expat women to make the right choices for themselves in their personal and professional lives while living abroad.

After fifteen years living abroad as a former diplomatic spouse and raising two third culture kids with postings throughout Asia - Bangkok, Taipei, Beijing and Seoul - Robin Pascoe returned to Canada and started a writing and publishing business, Expatriate Press. Her book business has enabled her to travel for the past decade from her home base in Vancouver to speak to expatriate communities and HR professionals around the world on the challenges associated with global living. She was the first to articulate many trends including the lack of family-friendly relocation policies; the challenges of work-expat life balance in a digital world; even ‘helicopter parenting’ and why it is enhanced abroad.

 

Reporting for major international publications and websites, and writing and publishing  books for expat families, Robin also created one of the earliest websites for expatriate families, ExpatExpert.com in 1998. Luckily, for several generations of expats, she documented much of her own experience and wisdom, relying as well on research from experts and other families’ experiences so that others may soar over obstacles she often struggled to overcome the hard way.

 

Her books Raising Global Nomads, A Moveable Marriage and Homeward Bound are all expat classics that should be on every expat woman's bookshelf.  Her newest release A Broad Abroad is no exception.

 

Recently Robin sent me a copy of A Broad Abroad and I loved it! Not only is it chock full of incredibly valuable information, but her honest and humorous style kept me smiling all the way through.  

 

Being someone who has chosen to live abroad with her partner, I have experienced many of the challenges Robin talks about in her books. Had I had Robin by my side to share many of my challenges with, I am sure that I would have not only benefited from her wisdom, but her energy and humor would have kept me laughing in even the most difficult moments.  

 

Robin has kindly agreed to answer a few questions about her own experience as a traveling spouse, expat professional and entrepreneur - as well as share some thoughts about A Broad Abroad.

 

• So Robin, can you tell us a little about yourself and your journey as both an expat professional and entrepreneur?

 

When I wrote the original version of A Broad Abroad, it was because I was in a situation similar to so many expat women who had gone before me: I was not allowed to work in my chosen profession, journalism. I confess: I’ve now been a journalist for 35 years working in television, radio, and print. But when we were starting out in ‘the life’, not only could were there no work permits, but for me, the stumbling block was not being granted press credentials while holding a diplomatic passport.

 

When I began writing my first book (the one my husband still refers to as ‘the manifesto’) I was angry at the men in suits at the Canadian Department of Foreign Affairs who simply didn’t understand how devastating it was for women to give up their career, identity, and paycheck in order to accompany their husbands on an overseas assignment.  I started giving workshops on mobile careers and then decided to build on that, write an honest book, and say things which, up until that point, had never been said out loud! And boy, did I get into trouble—with everyone! With our government for sure, but especially with corporations who didn’t want women to know what they were really headed for as it might dissuade their partners from taking up a posting. Spousal reluctance to move remains the biggest deal breaker in international relocations. I even took flack from feminists who denied the book distribution in the US. They were angry that I didn’t write the book for men. I didn’t, by the way, because I was writing (and still do, in “A Broad Abroad”) about issues which women handle differently, like self-esteem and self-confidence. Have you ever met a man who had a meltdown over a bad hair cut in a foreign country?

 

• A quote I love from your chapter on careers, "The only obstacles to a successful mobile career are inapplicable expectations." SO TRUE! How do you recommend expat women approaching letting go of some of the expectations around career that keep them blocked from accessing and enjoying professional opportunities abroad?

 

Women desperately need a reality check about what they are getting into….and that was my intention all along which I tried (and continue to try) to hammer home to women. They focus on ‘externals’ of the move, like housing and schools and ignore ‘internal’ issues like what they are going to do once everyone is settled. That’s where their expectations are out of whack. They think that part will be easy so they don’t think about it. Or they expect to be paid salaries like they earned at home. That’s just not going to happen to the majority of women. They are going to have to work hard at working!

 

It can be a super life as an expat and it is a privilege to live abroad, but there are challenges that go with it and until women acknowledge and face both the good and bad aspects of expatriation (and repatriation), I feel they will never be able to make informed decisions about whether the life will suit them. Many women I have met at my lectures over the years, and I note this in the book, told me that my wife book (now “A Broad Abroad”) scared them half to death and they almost didn’t move. I would always counter that with: “Good. I did my job. Here you are! Thriving! So wasn’t it good to know these things in advance?”

 

• I love that in your book you acknowledge the struggles that women can have with the loss of professional identity when moving overseas and the importance of getting support from fellow traveling spouses.  Many women who come to me don't realize that these feelings are very common and are just another part of their expatriate adventure.  What do you feel are the best support resources out there for expat career women?

 

From the get-go I stressed that other women were their best resource because they had been there, done that, and for some of us, written the books! I have met, and continue to meet in person or through my website, so many women who felt they were the only ones having these feelings. Other women offer validation and make those feelings real. They also help each other with contacts and ideas.

 

I constantly bring up the subject of denial which I think is the giant elephant in the room. I can’t tell you how many have women told me that they have no idea what I am talking about, they never felt any culture shock, and everything is just fine, just fine, as they sip from their third gin and tonic of the evening.

 

Culture shock is often compared to a grieving process because there have been multiple losses—of a way of life, community, friends, career and identity. And much like the stages of grief, many women get stuck in anger and/or denial which prevent them from coming out ‘the other side’ into the reconciliation stage. Then, and only then, can they propel themselves forward into the new, exciting life that offers so many opportunities for both personal and professional growth which helps them regain their identity.

 

• Three other things that I appreciated you sharing when it comes to pursuing a job in a new country: "Know your skills", "Know your market" and "Do your Homework".  One of the things I spend a lot of time with my clients doing is uncovering their unique skills & strengths and determining how best to communicate that value is a culturally-relevant and compelling way.  One can't do this without doing their homework.  What do you think are the best tools out there to help women learn about their new local culture and new local marketplace?

I’m not kidding when I suggest their best tool is simply themselves: their own curiosity about a new culture; their own two feet to walk around their new cities and soak up the sites and smells, and of course, the hardest part, which is having a self-awareness of who they are, what they are capable of achieving under new circumstances, and the ability to see that there is always opportunity during change and transition. When I see the work you do, and other career coaches, I’m thrilled because many women need someone else to help them see all their possibilities. I could have used you Megan when I was starting out!

 

• Networking is such an important part of the expatriate experience - in many cases our network is our lifeline to getting things done and realizing the life that we want for ourselves. With your natural passion and energy, it may be easier for you than some others to get up the courage to go out and connect with people. What do you recommend to expat introverts and those who are naturally more reticent to reach out to others?

 

Join, join, join….everything. I have met a lot of women along the way who would say, “I’ll never join a women’s group…I don’t want to learn flower arranging!” I have spent over 20 years trying to explain that the dynamic women’s clubs and networking groups which now exist are not about just that at all (not that there’s anything wrong with a cooking class or two. Look at Julia Child, who was a diplomatic spouse!)

 

As for the introverts, there will always be another woman wandering around a meeting looking as shell-shocked as they feel, and that’s who they should approach with a simple line like: “You look like you’re new here too.” Women too often judge their own insides by someone else’s outside. And by that I mean (and it’s the opening joke of the introduction of the book) that a woman may spot another who looks (on the outside anyway) so confident and pulled together without realizing that inside, that woman is suffering the same insecurities.

 

• Anticipating that there will be more moves are in the future is always good advice when helping someone to start planning their mobile career. I for one know that once you have been bit by the travel bug, it never quite lets go!  What sort of careers have you seen weather the storm of multiple moves over the course of your expatriate experience?

 

I hate to say ‘back in my day’ since I already feel ancient enough, but nowadays with the Internet, the possibilities for careers and entrepreneurship while abroad have opened up  the whole world! While I used to look at the local want ads in that 20^th century communication device—the newspaper—the Internet now is a huge opportunity to create virtual businesses based on consulting, coaching, writing and of course, academic research. Then there are the real time opportunities which are there—if a woman is willing to try something different. And never discount volunteer work. One of my most satisfying ‘jobs’ abroad was working and fundraising for an orphanage for disabled children in Beijing. Money, while validating, should not be the only measure of success. And often, through volunteer work, women learn valuable skills that will come in handy in the future.

 

• You are a successful expatriate writer - this is a dream of many expatriates - getting paid to write their way around the world.  Do you have some specific suggestions for how the expatriate writer should get started on making writing a career? What are the top three "must-dos" to not survive but thrive as a writer abroad?

 

First of all, you have to have something to say, be willing to spend hundreds of hours writing, and then be willing to sell those words. I’m not being facetious either.  There is an expression that so many people ‘would love to have written’ but don’t understand that means actually going into a dark hole every day (for me, it’s been my local library) and spend hours in front of a blank screen!

 

Nowadays, it’s extremely easy to publish anything: but, first you have to write and research an article or a book (all of my books took me over two years to write, often with several false starts and I'd have to go back to the drawing board). Then, you have to be willing to put yourself out there, virtually or in person, to market your product. I have had to travel a lot to do what I do (in my neighborhood in Vancouver, nobody really knows what I do) and so much of that travel has been positively brutal. My fear of flying hasn't helped matters. Before I partnered with the Canadian moving company AMJ Campbell International, who sponsor my website and have introduced me to their partners worldwide, I spent a great deal of my own money getting around, shipping books, finding cheap flights etc and I wasn't even being paid to speak! So I had to invest in myself if I was going to be a viable business.

 

Writers need to be ready for a lot of scrutiny. Not everyone will like what you have written nor will everyone agree with you, and often, we take that very personally. You can’t believe what some people have said to me over the years but I learned (often with a lot of tears and a few glasses of wine!) that as a writer, I have opened myself up to criticism. But at the same time, it’s opened up my world. I keep a folder in my e-mail program called “Kind Letters” and I re-visit that file whenever I’m having a bad writing day to remind myself why I do this.

 

Finally, writing is hard work full stop….so the best advice for any writer, and not just an expat writer, is to remember the saying: writing is 1% inspiration and 99% perspiration. Rejection is part of the process (so get over it and move on). And never give up.

 

• What would you say are the three most important things to remember to building a career overseas that have not already been touched on in this interview?

 

Passion is absolutely essential to any successful career. In the case of expatriate careers, there is also the need to draw on organizational support that in survey after survey, major corporations claim to offer (like resume writing or coaching). Forgive me for sounding cynical about that support because my own survey in 2008 “Family Matters” revealed that what’s written down in policy (like training of any kind) is not necessarily executed. However, at the same time, women need to learn to ask for what they need. This is a good lesson for life in general but business in particular. The world is not populated with mind readers, a skill I also stress to women is not usually one possessed by their husbands! And that brings me to the final piece we have not raised. The support of the working partner is essential. There is a reason why all of my books are dedicated to my husband. He’s my biggest cheerleader.  

 

• Thanks so much Robin for taking the time out of your busy schedule to share your thoughts.  How can others find out more about you and how to reach you?

 

I’m always available through my website ExpatExpert.com.

YOUR EXPAT SUCCESS TIP: If you are an expatriate woman - professional or not - I highly recommend visiting Robin's website, expatexpert.com, to locate resources and learn more about which of her books might support you in your journey in building a satisfying life for yourself overseas.

Comments

[Ronna Porter]

Thanks Robin and Megan - I'll look out for a copy to compare notes!